Sleep is one of the biggest topics of conversation for parents of young children. From newborn night wakings and unpredictable naps to bedtime battles and early mornings, getting enough rest can sometimes feel like an impossible task.
And with so much advice available online, it can be difficult to know what is normal, what actually works and which advice you can trust.
The reassuring news is that children’s sleep is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Every child is different, and what works for one family might not work for another.
At Happy Days Nurseries, we understand how important sleep is for children’s development, wellbeing and happiness. That’s why, in our recent podcast series, Better Sleep for Children Under 5, we spoke with Hayley from The Nap Nook, a qualified holistic sleep consultant, and Alex from our Quality Team to explore everything from gentle sleep support to safe sleep practices in nursery settings.
We’ve brought together some of the key advice and practical tips from the series to help you feel more confident supporting your child’s sleep at home.
Understanding what is normal when it comes to children’s sleep
One of the most reassuring messages from our conversations with Hayley was that sleep is a biological function, not a skill that children need to be taught.
Babies and young children naturally have different sleep patterns from adults. Their brains are developing rapidly, their needs are constantly changing and their sleep can be influenced by everything from temperament and feeding to their environment and stage of development.
For example:
- Newborn babies have very small stomachs and need frequent feeds, meaning waking throughout the night is completely normal.
- Babies often seek comfort and reassurance from their caregivers, including during the night.
- Toddlers may experience changes in sleep as they become more independent, develop new skills and experience separation anxiety.
- Preschool children can have changing sleep needs, including gradually dropping their daytime nap.
It’s also important to remember that sleeping through the night isn’t a milestone that every child reaches at the same age.
Some children naturally sleep for longer stretches, while others wake more frequently and need additional support.
The takeaway? Try not to compare your child’s sleep with another child’s. There is no single perfect sleep pattern, and differences don’t automatically mean something is wrong.
Creating a bedtime routine that works for your family
A consistent bedtime routine can be a really helpful way to prepare your child for sleep.
Research suggests that regular bedtime routines can support better sleep, helping children understand what comes next and providing an opportunity to slow down after a busy day.
The key is to keep things simple, predictable and enjoyable.
A gentle bedtime routine might include:
- Bath time: A warm bath can provide a lovely opportunity to wind down.
- Getting ready for bed: Put on pyjamas and brush teeth.
- Quiet time: Enjoy a story, some gentle music or a cuddle.
- A little connection: Spend a few minutes talking about the day or enjoying some quiet time together.
- Bedtime: Settle your child into their sleep space in a calm, reassuring way.
For younger babies, a short routine of around 20 minutes may be enough. As children get older, you might find that around 20–30 minutes works well.
These are helpful starting points rather than strict rules. Some evenings will be different, and that’s absolutely fine.
The most important thing is creating a familiar sequence that helps your child feel safe, settled and ready for sleep.
Night wakings: Why do they happen?
Night wakings can be one of the most exhausting parts of parenting, particularly when you’re experiencing broken sleep night after night.
However, waking during the night is a normal part of children’s sleep.
There are lots of reasons why your child might wake, including:
- Hunger or needing a feed.
- Feeling too hot or too cold.
- Discomfort, illness or teething.
- Changes in their development.
- Feeling unsettled or needing reassurance.
- Wanting to reconnect with you.
- Finding it difficult to settle back to sleep independently.
Rather than immediately assuming that your child has developed a bad habit, it can help to consider what might be behind the waking.
If night wakings are becoming particularly difficult, think about whether anything has changed recently. Has your child started nursery? Are they learning a new skill? Have their daytime naps changed? Are they feeling under the weather?
Sometimes small adjustments can make a difference.
And remember, offering comfort when your child wakes is not creating a bad habit. Responding to their needs is an important part of helping them feel secure.
If sleep difficulties are persistent or you’re concerned about your child’s health, speak to your health visitor or GP.
Understanding your child’s temperament
Something Hayley highlighted during our podcast series was the importance of understanding your child’s individual temperament.
Every child responds to the world differently, and this can have an impact on how they approach sleep.
Some children are naturally more adaptable and happy to settle independently, while others need more reassurance, closeness and support.
You may have come across the terms:
- Dandelion children: Often described as more adaptable and easygoing.
- Tulip children: May sit somewhere in the middle, with some sensitivity to their environment.
- Orchid children: Often described as more sensitive and responsive to their surroundings.
These are informal ways of describing differences in temperament, rather than medical or diagnostic categories.
Understanding your child’s personality can help you recognise what they need at bedtime and how best to support them.
For example, a more sensitive child might benefit from extra reassurance, a familiar bedtime routine and a gradual approach to any changes.
A child who is more adaptable might be comfortable with a little more flexibility.
There is no right or wrong approach. It’s about getting to know your child and responding to their individual needs.
When is it time to drop a nap?
Nap transitions are another common challenge for parents, particularly as children move from babyhood into toddlerhood.
Although every child is different, there are some general ages when nap changes often happen:
Nap transition Approximate age
Four naps to three Around 4 months
Three naps to two Around 7–9 months
Two naps to one Around 16 months
One nap to no daytime nap Around 2.5–3 years
These are only approximate guides. Some children will transition earlier, while others will continue napping for longer.
So, how do you know when your child might be ready?
Look out for signs such as:
- Taking much longer to fall asleep at nap time.
- Regularly refusing a particular nap.
- Having difficulty settling at bedtime.
- Waking later than usual after daytime naps.
- Struggling to fit their usual naps into the day.
It’s worth looking at these patterns over time rather than making a change based on one difficult day.
Some children will still benefit from a short daytime nap beyond the age of three, while others will gradually stop needing one.
Quiet time can also be a helpful alternative when your child no longer wants to sleep during the day.
Overtiredness: Is it always the problem?
Parents often hear the term ‘overtired’, particularly when discussing difficult bedtimes.
But Hayley shared an interesting perspective during our podcast: the idea that a child can become so tired that they are physically unable to fall asleep isn’t supported by strong evidence.
When children are tired, they can sometimes become upset, unsettled or dysregulated. This can make settling down more difficult.
Rather than worrying about getting every nap and bedtime exactly right, focus on helping your child feel calm and secure.
You could try:
- Reducing noise and stimulation.
- Moving into a quieter environment.
- Offering a cuddle or reassurance.
- Spending a little time together reading a book.
- Keeping your voice and movements gentle.
Remember, missing a nap or having a later bedtime occasionally doesn’t mean you’ve ruined your child’s sleep routine.
Children are resilient, and flexibility is an important part of family life.
Safe sleep: Creating a safe environment at home
While supporting your child’s sleep is important, safety should always come first.
During our podcast series, we spoke about the importance of following evidence-based safer sleep guidance, particularly for babies under 12 months.
The Lullaby Trust recommends six key principles to help reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
The six safer sleep principles
- Always place your baby on their back
Place your baby on their back at the beginning of every sleep, both during the day and at night.
Once your baby can roll independently from their back to their front and back again, you can allow them to find their own sleeping position. Continue to place them on their back initially.
- Keep the cot clear
A baby’s sleep space should be clear of unnecessary items.
Avoid:
- Pillows and duvets.
- Cot bumpers.
- Soft toys and comforters.
- Loose or bulky bedding.
- Sleep positioners, wedges and nests.
- Use a firm, flat mattress
- Your baby’s mattress should be firm, flat and waterproof, and fit the cot correctly.
- Avoid inclined or raised sleeping surfaces.
- Keep your baby smoke-free
Avoid exposing your baby to cigarette smoke, including during pregnancy and after birth.
- Avoid overheating
Keep your baby’s head uncovered and avoid excessive clothing or bedding.
The recommended room temperature for babies is generally 16–20°C. Check whether your baby feels hot or sweaty by feeling their chest or the back of their neck.
- Share a room with your baby
The safest place for your baby to sleep for at least the first six months is in their own separate sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket, in the same room as you.
It’s also important to remember that babies should not be left sleeping in car seats, bouncers or other seated devices once they are no longer travelling or being used as intended. Transfer them to a suitable flat sleep space.
For more detailed advice, visit The Lullaby Trust or the NHS safer sleep guidance.
Safe sleep in nursery: What should parents expect?
Choosing a nursery is a big decision, and naturally, parents want to know that their child will be safe, comfortable and well cared for throughout the day.
Sleep is an important part of nursery life, particularly for babies and younger children who still need regular daytime rest.
At Happy Days Nurseries, safe sleep is taken extremely seriously, and our teams follow the relevant Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) statutory requirements alongside our nursery policies and procedures.
From 1 September 2026, updated safer sleep requirements were introduced into the EYFS framework in England.
Here are some of the key things parents should know.
Safe sleeping spaces
For babies aged 12 months and under, the EYFS requires a cot, which can include a cot, carrycot, Moses basket or travel cot.
For children under two, sleep spaces must be separate, clear, flat and firm.
Sleep spaces should have:
- A suitable firm, flat, waterproof mattress.
- Appropriate lightweight bedding, firmly tucked in and no higher than the shoulders, or a correctly fitted baby sleep bag.
- No unnecessary items such as pillows, toys, loose bedding or cot bumpers.
For children over 12 months, suitable separate sleep spaces can include a bed or appropriate mattress on the floor.
Back sleeping
Children under two must be placed on their backs at the beginning of every sleep.
If a baby can independently roll from their back to their front and back again, they can find their own sleeping position.
Room temperature and ventilation
Creating a comfortable sleeping environment is important.
For babies aged 12 months and under, the recommended room temperature is 16–20°C.
Nursery teams should also ensure that:
- Children’s heads remain uncovered.
- Babies are not dressed in excessive layers.
- Sleeping areas are appropriately ventilated.
- Cots and sleeping spaces are positioned safely away from potential hazards.
Supervision and monitoring
Children must always be within sight and hearing of staff when sleeping.
Babies under six months must have an adult with them in the same room for every sleep.
All sleeping children must be checked frequently, with additional attention given to individual needs and circumstances.
Working together with parents
We know that children can have different routines at home and in nursery.
That’s why communication between parents and nursery teams is so important.
During settling-in sessions, we work with families to understand their child’s usual sleep patterns, preferences and individual needs.
This helps our practitioners provide familiar, reassuring routines while ensuring that all sleep arrangements meet the relevant safety requirements.
Parents can also ask their nursery team about their sleep policies, supervision arrangements and how sleep checks are recorded.
You can read more about the updated requirements in the Department for Education’s safer sleep guidance for early years providers.
Choosing a trusted sleep consultant: What should parents look for?
Sometimes, despite trying different routines and approaches, sleep can continue to feel difficult.
If you’re considering additional support, choosing the right sleep consultant is important.
Hayley shared some useful advice about what parents should look for when deciding who to work with.
Check their qualifications
Ask about their training, qualifications and professional background. Look for clear information about the course they’ve completed and the organisation awarding their qualification.
Make sure safety comes first
Any sleep advice should be consistent with current safer sleep guidance. Safe sleep practices should never be compromised to achieve longer stretches of sleep.
Be cautious of unrealistic promises
Every child is different, and nobody can guarantee that your baby will sleep through the night within a particular timeframe.
Be wary of consultants promising instant results or suggesting that all children should follow the same rigid routine.
Look for an approach that suits your family
Think about whether their approach reflects your parenting values and your child’s needs.
A good consultant should listen to your concerns, consider your child’s temperament and provide realistic, compassionate support.
Make sure they understand their professional boundaries
Sleep consultants should not provide specialist medical, feeding or nutritional advice unless they hold the appropriate qualifications. They should be willing to refer families to other professionals when needed.
It’s also worth remembering that the infant sleep consultancy industry is not formally regulated in the UK, so checking qualifications and experience is particularly important.
Looking after yourself as a parent
Perhaps one of the most important messages from our podcast conversations was that parents need support too.
Broken nights, early mornings and constantly responding to your child’s needs can be exhausting.
It’s easy to become so focused on improving your child’s sleep that you forget about your own wellbeing.
Where possible, try to:
- Share night-time responsibilities with another parent or trusted adult.
- Take opportunities to rest when support is available.
- Ask family and friends for help.
- Make time for small moments of relaxation.
- Remember that you don’t have to get everything right.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, speak to someone you trust or reach out to your health visitor or GP.
And most importantly, remember that this stage of family life will change. Your child’s sleep will develop as they grow, even if it doesn’t always feel that way at the moment.
A final word from Happy Days
The biggest message from our Better Sleep for Children Under 5 podcast series is that every child is different.
There is no perfect bedtime routine, no universal nap schedule and no single approach that works for every family.
What matters is understanding your child’s individual needs, creating reassuring routines, responding to them with care and always putting their safety first.
If sleep is proving difficult, you don’t have to navigate it alone. There is support available, and asking for help is a positive step.
At Happy Days Nurseries, we believe that children shine when they feel safe, secure and supported. Sleep is an important part of that, and working together with families helps us give every child the care and reassurance they need.
Want to hear more?
You can listen to our Better Sleep for Children Under 5 podcast series for more insights from Hayley at The Nap Nook and Alex from our Quality Team by clicking here.
Whether you’re preparing for a new arrival, navigating toddler sleep or simply looking for reassurance, we hope our conversations help you feel more confident on your family’s sleep journey.
Sweet dreams!
Important note: This article provides general information and is not a substitute for individual medical advice. Always follow current safer sleep guidance and speak to your health visitor or GP if you have concerns about your child’s sleep or wellbeing.